Launch day life
The waves of emotion and subsequent sick
Does anyone else get really sick after every big project push?
On Monday, December 9 — Collection 2, Season 2 of Chores went live on my website, just hours after a weekend-long marathon of exhibition-related activities.
In the hours leading up to launch time, I was still frantically setting things up in Shopify — fine-tuning product descriptions, entering weights for shipping, squaring up stuff like packaging dimensions and parameters for tax collection — probably my least favorite part of the process!
I already feel pretty clumsy in the digital world, awkward when it comes to selling work, and it’s all made more overwhelming by my familiar pre-launch panic. What if I forget something important? Will anyone actually buy anything?? Am I going to vomit???
Thank goodness — Shaina was home with me this time, drumming her fingers on the top of my head to help me calm down. “It’s really gonna be fine,” she said. “Should we get some pho?”
If I think about it for too long, it does start to feel like a pretty crazy thing to do — to make things with your whole entire heart, and then to put pictures of them on the internet and wait to see if anyone wants to buy them. It feels very vulnerable and very strange!
But in just the first half hour, over half of the collection was sold — and I felt like I could barely breathe.
My therapist introduced me to the feelings wheel last year, after we both realized how limited my emotional vocabulary actually was. Perhaps these are my top launch-time emotions:
Anxious → overwhelmed
Busy → pressured
Trusting → sensitive
Amazed → awe / astonished
After delivering Collection 2, Season 1 to the post office last year, I had some surprisingly Big Feelings. It was just before the post office closed at 5pm, already dark in the depths of New York’s winter — I made it inside just in time, handed over a year’s work to the kind clerk, then stepped outside and started sobbing.
There was so much excitement, pride, and joy — all mixed together with a kind of grief, helplessness, and worry?? I remember feeling so silly as well — like, was it really such a big deal? Get it together!
After another year and another season of Chores, I’ve come to meet these feelings with a bit more compassion and understanding.
Of course I would feel attached to things I’ve spent such a long time bringing into careful existence, especially alongside people I love. They’ve come to hold so much memory and meaning. Of course it would be hard to say goodbye.
There’s probably always going to be this tension of wanting to hold onto the things I make and love, while also yearning for other souls to love them too. There’s an immense comfort and gratitude that comes from knowing that my work will be in good hands.
As I’m packing up the pieces of Collection 2, Season 2, I’m giving myself a little extra grace to move through the familiar waves of feeling. Perhaps also a little more time to spruce up the coats and feel their weight — before sending them on their way.
At this moment, there are just a few pieces of the collection left — one coat and four charms. If anyone reading this puts in an order this week, I’ll do my best to get it to you by Christmas.
Thank you sincerely to everyone who is welcoming a piece of my heart into their homes. Wishing us all a tender and restful holiday ahead!
<3 Joy
the precious babies going off on their new adventures!!